by dangent

They totter into the ladies’, as clumsy as bumble bees. One slumps in the sink, the other presses her nose against glass.

“Look at my eyes!” says one.

“Oh my god!” says the other. “They’re screwed!”

“So are yours, look!”

“I’ve got hobbity ears!”

“Me too. And, look, my neck! The skin’s gone stretchy. Weird!”

The lights in the loos flicker. Or maybe it’s just their eyes.

“Do you think–”

“–maybe we’ve taken too much?”

The next flicker lasts longer. An entire second of black and then: “Whassthat?”

An envelope, stuck to the mirror.

“No way!”

One peers in and reads: “Open me.

They look at each other and guffaw.

“Shall we?”

“Go on.”

They peel it free and pull out a card.

The lights flicker some more.

“Can’t read…” says one.

“Give it here,” says the other. “Let me. ‘Say my name ten times backwards and I appear (whilst looking in the mirror).’

“What the?”


“Très weird indeed. Isn’t it that myth? You know, poltergeistpoltergeist-poltergeistpoltergeist-”


“What? Anyway, it won’t work. You have to do it backwards, at midnight, in the dark… What?”

One shows the other her watch. “11.57… I kid you not!”

“Oh. My. God!”

One lights a fag, passes it to the other, then lights another.

They think about it for a bit.

“Shall we?”

“Why not? And anyway, that flickering’s doing my nut.”

So they turn the lights off.

Four red dots.

“Argh!” screams one. “What’s that?”

“Calm down, it’s the fags. They’re reflected. Look.”

“Oh. Yeah. I knew that.”

The four red dots, two reflected, two real, do a dance that makes them both laugh.

Eventually, one begins: “Poltergeistpoltergeistpoltergeist-”



“Backwards remember! And,” (one presses the light on her watch) “not just yet.”

“Oh yeah. What’s it then? Tslerti… Tslotsi…”





“Yeah. Tsieg-ret-lop.”


“That’ll do.”

The watch beeps to let them know it’s time. “Weird. I didn’t know it did that.”

“Are we gonna then?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“Okay! Together…”


A flatulent pop.

“Whoah! What was that?” says one.

“Dunno,” says the other.

Then they see it, in the mirror: a fifth red dot.